Embracing Vulnerability: A Creative Year To Earn The Right To Be A Collaborative Contemporary Community Textile Artist - Part 1
Introduction - Rights To Be A Co-curator & Community Artist Aren't Just Given
Fear can hold us back from following our passions.
Excruciating vulnerability can stop us from participating in the community arts.
Like many, I have faced self-doubt and a critical inner voice with respect to my passions and community arts pursuits.
Inspired by Susan Jeffers' 'Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway' and Dr Brene Brown's ideas on vulnerability (I've discussed her previously - I'm a big fan), I took a bold step at the beginning of last year. I started a project to create a portable textile mixed media piece that reflected my feelings and experiences without self-censorship. I wanted to be willing to let go of who I should be for who I am and be seen. How can I encourage others to be vulnerable as a collaborative community textile artist through using creativity (which can be really scary) if I don't practice the same myself and feel the fear?
This journey into pocket-sized art has helped me grow and connect. I want to share what I've learned, the final piece entitled 'Phoenix From The Bin,' and how facing fear can lead to new internal and external opportunities.
What Is The Inspiration For Exploring Yourself Through Art?
As a teenager looking for self-improvement, I stumbled upon a book by Susan Jeffers called 'Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway.' If you haven't checked it out yet, I highly recommend it. It really got me thinking about how fear has often tried to hold me back. I've dabbled at different times with wrestling my fear, but last year I decided it was time to change that and pull my big girl pants up to my chin and walk boldly into the arena. I took a leap of faith and proposed to
use my creativity to tackle my inner critic and that not-so-cheerful inner cheerleader of mine.
So, I took up the wholehearted making of a piece for myself. Some people journal, and some talk to a therapist; at this time, my method of exploration is a stitch.
My goal?: To create a portable textile mixed media piece that I could work on on the go to reflect on myself and my experiences as they happened. I wanted to capture moments and feelings completely unfiltered, drawing inspiration from everything and everyone around me. Exploring pocket-sized art has been such a refreshing change for me since I usually work on larger pieces, like the Coventry Banner that filled the atrium at the Herbert Art Gallery & Museum. Shifting to a smaller scale definitely posed some challenges, but it's been a fun discipline to embrace. Traveling a lot last year pushed me into this new direction, and honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way!
Rules For Creating A Reflective Art Piece
I set a few simple rules for myself to guide this creative journey:
Keep It Portable: I wanted my work to be easy to transport and quick to add to.
Travel-Friendly Tools: I needed to use tools I could take on a plane—let's just say I learned the hard way after losing some of my favourite scissors to airport security!
Careful Material Selection: Everything I used needed to be found or repurposed, or they had to hold a special meaning to reflect my year.
No Censorship Allowed: Perhaps the biggest rule was to throw out any self-doubt and just let my creativity flow freely without judgment.
Connect With Myself & Others: And who knows? Maybe I'd find the courage to exhibit my work and let myself be seen.
I drew inspiration from one of my favourite mentors, Brene Brown, who describes herself as a research storyteller. Her work on vulnerability really resonates with me. I watched her inspiring Ted Talk at the beginning of this journey and again at the end, and it helped keep me motivated.
At first, sticking to my creative rules was a bit tricky, but I soon found that they made the process more enjoyable and enriching. I got wholeheartedly into the piece. But when I thought about exhibiting it, I felt those familiar nerves creep back in. I shared my hopes with those close to me, and while they were supportive, they were also worried about how vulnerable I was making myself. They reminded me of some challenging moments when my work had been misunderstood or criticised, and I know they felt my pain, too.
As I neared completion, I couldn't help but hear their concerns and my inner critic chiming in my head. These voices hung around as I prepared to submit my work to a gallery portal.
Conclusion: Wholehearted Fearless Stitching Accomplished
Today, I finally hit that submit button to upload my finished piece, which I decided to call 'Phoenix From The Bin'; there was a wave of uncertainty that washed over me.
There are no guarantees that my work will be shown or understood, but you know what? I made it to the finish line! How do I feel about this experience? Well, I can't say I've completely transformed into a confident creator who truly believes I'm worthy of being seen. But I am proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and working towards the right to be a contemporary community textile artist in Derbyshire or the rest of the world. After all, if we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we miss out on the beautiful connections we can make with ourselves and others.
As Brene Brown wisely says, 'Connection is why we're here.'
Here's to facing our fears, connecting with ourselves and others, and discovering the magic that unfolds when we do!
